Why my mother calls me at work
1. To complain that my father does not like sweet potatoes.
2. To wish me happy birthday, then argue with me when I inform her it is not my birthday.
3. To ask me if I’m at work.
4. To tell me that my father was lost in the Grand Canyon for about 30 hours, but they found him and everything is fine now.
5. To inform me that someone I never met has died.
6. To ask if internet shopping is “on the up and up.”
7. To tell me that fiber is very important and that people often become constipated when they travel.
8. To ask if I know an affordable “computerologist” who can “fix her internet.”
9. To demand a suggestion for her book club that “does not have obscenity, violence, magic, dying animals, cancer or more than 300 pages.”