Why my mother calls me at work

Why my mother calls me at work

1. To complain that my father does not like sweet potatoes.

2. To wish me happy birthday, then argue with me when I inform her it is not my birthday.
3. To ask me if I’m at work.

4. To tell me that my father was lost in the Grand Canyon for about 30 hours, but they found him and everything is fine now.

5. To inform me that someone I never met has died.

6. To ask if internet shopping is “on the up and up.”

7. To tell me that fiber is very important and that people often become constipated when they travel.

8. To ask if I know an affordable “computerologist” who can “fix her internet.”

9. To demand a suggestion for her book club that “does not have obscenity, violence, magic, dying animals, cancer or more than 300 pages.”

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7 thoughts on “Why my mother calls me at work

  1. Okay, so out of sheer curiosity, I checked through my Goodreads list for books meeting your mother’s criteria that were not for small children. Here’s what I’ve got:

    The Little Prince (unless snake bite = violence)
    Little House books (which are totally worth the read…but, again, there may be animal deaths, just not prominent)
    The Secret Garden (just barely at 298 pages)

    The only adult book I could come up with from my list that met every requirement, and I am really not kidding, was Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And even that may have some violence in it. Somehow, I’m thinking this isn’t what your mom was looking for…

    • Ha! I’m impressed as to the amount of research you did on that list! I just told my mom she needed to cut two requirements from the list before I would even start looking for books.

      Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is good, but not quite my mom’s bag. I wish she would try it – I think it would be funny to get her thoughts!

  2. Does obsenity include sex? Sounds like she wants romance novels. This list sure had me laughing. My mother is not nutty on the phone; she saves it for in person. I hope you will put your mother as a character in a novel or a script.

    • Obscenity does not include sex, unless it’s like a porno. Usually mom means unnecessary cursing when she says “obscenity.” She even hates it when people say “like” and “crap.”

      Thanks for the read!

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